10 Signs of a Toxic Person - and how to deal with it
Toxic people are everywhere - they're at your work and in your schools, they might even be in your family. It's hard to avoid toxic people, but how do we recognize them and deal with the toxicity without getting infected ourselves?
We've all come across that person that seems to suck the life out of us. The person who harasses you in class or resents you for the promotion at work. The close friend who always has drama, and then passes it onto you, and the family member that emotionally drains you every time you see or hear from them. These are toxic people. They're exhausting to be around and, yet, if we're not careful, we can find ourselves orbiting their poisonous sun without even knowing it. Here are the 10 Signs of a Toxic Person ... and how to deal with it.
1. They're Selfish
Toxic people are too absorbed in themselves that they rarely notice the feelings of the people around them. Me, myself, and I is are usually the topic of conversation for them, and they will happily spend hours talking about themselves, and leave little-to-no room for you. Their toxicity makes itself known by their constant need for control. They genuinely only care about how they feel, what their needs are, and what is going to benefit them the best. This is coupled by them manipulating you to make sure that they are always the victim, 100% of the time.
Bottom line: it's best to recognize their games and distance yourself as quickly as possible.
2. They're Constantly Surrounded by Drama
Have you ever had a friend that is constantly surrounded by a cloud of drama? Me, too. People like this tend to thrive on drama and any negative situation that happens to them. They'll constantly talk about the bad experience and continue to bring up and relive every negative emotion. A toxic person who thrives on drama loves the attention and sympathy they get from others while telling their sad tales. So how do you deal with these types of people? Bottom line: Don't feed into their drama. It's easy to get sucked into the cycle and genuinely feel bad for them, but remember to take everything they say with a grain of salt. This will will save you a lot of headaches in the future. Trust me.
3. Liar, Liar.
One of the biggest signs of a toxic person is that they lie. A lot. The majority of us have told a lie at some point in our lives, however, the toxic person takes this to a whole new level. They will purposefully mislead you, manipulate the truth to suit them, and withhold important information. Remember that if they're comfortable telling small lies, they wont hesitate to tell you a big one. Bottom line: Toxic people will always put themselves above you. Put distance between you and this person as quickly as possible.
4. They are Always the Victim, 100% of the Time.
We've all met, been friends with, and even dated this person. The person who always thinks they're being personally victimized by you, and everyone else in the world. They blame everyone else for their problems instead of taking responsibility for themselves. Bad things happen to all of us - that's called life. But these people will always have an excuse that points the finger at anyone and everyone. Bottom line: Don't get into an argument with this toxic person. They are so caught up in their own world, that you'll be yelling at them for an hour before realizing that, one, they don't care, and two, it's never their fault. Create distance ad guard yourself against being manipulated.
5. They're Jealous and Judgmental
Jealous people are super toxic because they hate themselves on the inside which makes it next to impossible for them to be happy for anyone else around them. This, coupled with them being extremely judgmental and critical, makes this toxic person one of the worst kinds. They are often gossips and everyone around them is horrible. Bottom line: If someone is gossiping to you about how another person is awful, you might want to take about ten steps back. This could be a toxic person, and my rule of thumb is that, if they're talking to you this way about someone else, it's probably not a long shot to think that they're talking to another person about you.
6. They are Notorious Manipulators
This person will always make you, and everyone else, feel like you owe them something.They also have a way of hurting you and then making it seem like it was your fault. You might feel like you're the only one contributing to the relationship, and honestly, you probably are. This type of person can usually be found in places where the balance of power is in their favor. In a workplace, this could look like someone giving you the worst jobs just because they "thought you would like the experience". Bottom line: Manipulators will always twist an argument or a conversation around so that they're the victim; making you feel like you're the one doing something wrong.
7. They Will Leave a Conversation Open Ended and then Completely Disconnect.
They wont answer when you call and they wont return your texts. They'll leave a conversation or argument open ended and then you'll be stuck wondering what happened and if you'll ever regain the relationship. The people that truly care about you wont let you go days without some kind of resolve, they'll at least try to make amends. Bottom line: If they leave you stranded for days at a time, you might want to take it as a sign of their commitment to your relationship.
8. They Don't Let it Go
while trying to resolve an issue, toxic people like this have a tendency to bring up old arguments (that you thought were long gone) into a current situation. Before you know it, you're arguing about something that happened a year ago, still trying to defend yourself. Bottom line: These types of people will always try to bring irrelevant information into a current argument. Don't try to argue with them, they will continually bring up the past in order to manipulate you.
9. They Exaggerate
"You always", "you never", and "it's okay, I'm used to it" are just a few of the ways that toxic people will manipulate you into thinking that the one time you didn't do ... or the one time you did... is an example of your character. Bottom line: Don't feed into their came. You don't have to defend yourself to anyone.
10. Healthy Boundaries Have Not Been Set
It can be hard to set boundaries with a toxic person. They're manipulative and aggressive and can leave you speechless with their harsh words, but if you don't set healthy boundaries with them, they'll always have a grasp on you and you'll always find yourself being sucked into their poison.