Love Shouldn't Hurt: Toxic Relationships

Photo by Sydney Sims on Unsplash

What is a toxic relationship?

Toxicity in a relationship can is commonly defined as, a relationship with behaviors that can be damaging to another person. Today, I will be talking about some of the many ways a person can know if they're in an abusive relationship. It doesn't necessarily have to be a spouse, it can be a boyfriend/girlfriend , mother/father, sibling, friend, neighbor , co-worker, a child, and the list goes on and on.

The Types of Toxic Relationships:

  1. Emotional abuse: any act of verbal assault (cursing at you, belittling, talking with anger). Humiliation (making you feel worthless, like anything you do will fail). Intimidation (frightening , menacing). Isolates you from family, friends and work.

  2. Verbal Abuse: Connects with the above, verbal assault. A person who makes you feel like anything you do in life is not good enough. Making you feel worthless. Calling you names (dumb, ignorant ect...). Insulting you every occasion possible.

  3. Physical Abuse: Also known as domestic violence. This type of abuse is more of a hands on abuse. It’s the act of a person putting their hands on you physically. Hitting, slapping, punching, pushing, kicking, and/or spitting on you. It can be by physical act or also by torturing such as burning you, cutting you ect.... These acts are very dangerous and can be deadly. This is a reportable abuse. There are millions of people that die everyday from physical abuse -- there is help out there. In these cases calling 911 and reporting the person is very important - don't be afraid to take a stand. People serve jail time for this act and it is taken very seriously in the U.S. National Domestic Violence Hotline | Get Help Today | 1-800-799-7233

  4. Sexual Abuse: The act of a person engaging in a sexual act towards another person without their consent. This should not be allowed, but unfortunately, this happens more often than you think. This is a reportable abuse. Sexual abuse occurs to men, women, children, and elderly people and is otherwise known as rape. People serve jail time for this act. Please don't hesitate to call. Reach out to a friend or family member - you are strong enough to take a stand. National Sexual Assault Hotline Call 1-800-656-4673 Available 24 hours everyday

7 Signs of a Toxic Relationship :

  1. You cannot make any decisions on your own.

  2. He/she doesn’t encourage you to grow as a person.

  3. You are manipulated.

  4. There is no respect towards you.

  5. You feel alone and that you can’t open up to them.

  6. The feeling of being bullied.

  7. There is no compromising.

All of this begs the question: Can a toxic relationship be fixed? Yes, but only if the person being abused and the abuser are both willing to work towards making changes. There has to be a commitment from both parties to see lasting results. This may involve therapy such as counseling, anger management, family therapy, group therapy and or couples therapy.

If you feel like you are in a toxic relationship seek help. You are not alone.

For this weeks #toxictuesdaychallenge , we want you to grab your journal, or a notebook, and carve out some time this week to reflect. Think about three things if you've been in an unhealthy relationship, which most of us have (be that with a friend, family member, etc..).

  1. How were you able to recognize that the relationship was unhealthy?

  2. How can you prevent toxic relationships in the future?

  3. Write down a few thoughts on self-worth (i.e I am stronger now because I removed myself from an unhealthy relationship, I hold value just by being me, hurt people, hurt people - the person that said those things to me has issues that they need to work through).

If you did this exercise and found it helpful, tag us on Social Media @toxicoapparel and use #toxictuesdaychallenge to be featured in next Friday's Testimony of the Week! We want to hear your stories - remember that, your testimony can change another person's life.

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